To the very special reader who takes the newspaper from my driveway

To whoever is taking the Sunday newspaper from my driveway about once a month, we need to talk.
I am home with a frightful flu, and it was raining today, so I dragged my weak self out of my new comfy bed, threw an old rain coat over my robe and trekked across the wet front lawn to retrieve my paper from the driveway. Only it was not there, again.
I would never want to deprive anyone of the joy of reading a print newspaper, but here’s the problem: For 16 years, I have been clipping my Sunda