Baldur's Gate 3 companions got official $50 D&D minis, and I am casting Vicious Mockery because what in the Nine Hells is this

The beloved companions of Baldur's Gate 3 have received a new line of minis featuring Astarion, Karlach, Gale, Shadowheart, Wyll, Lae'zel, and everyone's old pal Withers. No love for Halsin or Minthara, sadly. Perhaps that's a mercy, because creator WizKids seems to have sculpted these from crayons and then deep fried them before shipping. What in Mystra's name is this?The real, genuine, not-made-up photos in this article were taken by our own Rollin Bishop, who received a box of these creatures