• Much-loved London shop closes its doors after 95 years
• Fishermen set out to catch halibut... and net a US nuclear submarine! 7,800-tonne vessel drags fishing crew's net for two miles off Norway
• Christmas pantomime starring Dame Maureen Lipman axes bangs, strobe lights and scary moments - and even has 'chill out room' if it gets 'too much' for south west London audience
• Oprah's hometown newspaper eviscerates her for 'taking $1m from Kamala'
• Alex Jones' Infowars is bought by The Onion after being shut down for peddling Sandy Hook conspiracy theories